This from Al Gruenke, KB3JPP:

1. You will be considered a nerd. Accept it, and move on.
2. When assembling any electronic device, don’t vacuum the floor until you are finished.
3. Make sure you know exactly where the coax is before trimming the bushes.
4. Spray paint the antenna feed lines white to make them less obvious. If you have a tower and beam, don’t bother.
5. People will assume that you can fix anything with wires. Resist the temptation to prove them right.
6. A swivel with a magnifying glass and a light will prevent you from being humiliated by asking someone else to read IC’s.
7. Have a young man available to climb ladders and trees. Sons and son-in-laws are good, but don’t be bashful asking others. That’s why God made such people. Furthermore, you may become an Elmer.
8. Drinking and operating don’t mix. Especially operating CW.
9. It’s probably not a good idea to explain CTCSS or the relationship between sunspot cycles and F2 skip to anyone except another ham.
10. Patience and tolerance are learned virtues. Especially to our Northern and Southern neighbors operating SSB in the middle of the 40 meter QRP band.
11. Amateur radio keeps your mind active, and an active mind wards off Alzheimer Disease. As long as you can spell it, you don’t have it.